Doing Good Work
I have the bad habit on focusing on the end goal before I’ve even taken the first step. I like to imagine the sweet taste of victor before the grapes have sprouted from the vine. This is a problem. Sure, I tell myself that I’m “manifesting” but in reality, I’m actually living in the dream world rather than trying to make that dream a reality.
I think that many people can have this nasty habit to. Hopefully to a lesser degree than my habit. You see, I’d rather imagine the idea of success rather than putting the time and effort. Let’s face it, it’s nice to think about. You know what isn’t nice? Doing boring, tedious, often mind-numbing work. In my case it’s usually homework. Work that I look at as nothing more than a thorn in my side. Something that needs to be removed and forgotten immediately.
What I’ve come to learn is that fantasy will always be a fantasy if I keep on dreaming. That “manifesting” it in my mind and speaking it into the world won’t make it into reality– only tangible, consistent action will. My own efforts. Nothing else will bring me closer to see the peak besides my putting one foot in front of the other.
And that crushes me. Because it’s so boring. Monotonous. Ridiculous. I know, hard work sucks.
Yet that’s the kicker for me. Hard work only sucks because I’m looking at how much higher I have to climb, not in the fact that I’ve taken the first 5 steps forward. As the quote says “It’s far better when doing good work is sufficient. In other words, the less attached we are to outcomes the better.” The less attached we are to the future feeling of reaching the peak, the more at peace we can feel.
There’s a sense of pride and satisfaction in knowing that you’ve moved just a little bit closer to your goal. Take pride in that. Celebrate it. Know that you’ve accomplished something today. That’s what matters. Celebrate your little victories. Often. They matter just as much as the final victory in the end.
It took me almost 3 quarters to get into my major. I wanted to be accepted so desperately because I felt like my life wasn’t moving forward. That I was stuck and that reaching this “goal” was my only way out. I was so desperate to be out of the shadow of the mountain. But then I was denied for the second time. The mountain loomed taller than ever. I felt crushed and I wanted to give up and run away. I tried to climb the mountain and I didn’t make it to the peak, so what was the point?
After grieving falling short of the peak, I looked back at what I’d done. At first, I saw it as a waste. After some time, I started to realize my smaller accomplishments that I lost sight of. Getting all A’s in my universities’ classes despite all classes being online. I did that for two quarters. This is coming from someone who STRUGGLED with his first year at community college. But I did that. Me. Me and my efforts.
So I took that feeling and thought: “so what? What am I going to do? Sit here and do nothing? Or will I try to climb that mountain again?” Because once you’ve almost reached the peak you start to hunger for the goal. So, I used that hunger but only focused on each step forward. “Nose to the grindstone” is what one of my former English teachers once said to me. Focus on the good work that you’re doing now. Let your work truly speak for itself because you know that your work means something. The moment will come. The question is: are you ready for it?